Who Am I?

It's as good a place to start as any, and I guess that's what I'm trying to figure out. Just a few weeks ago I was pretty sure I knew. Then I died and the world I knew came crashing down and I had to figure things out for myself. This is my biography, written as it happens. It's on you to decide if it's fiction or not. I only write the words, man… ;)

So who am I? I'm Cady, but Cadence is my full name. That's the honest-to-god truth, by the way. I suppose I should give you the short story first, so you can decide if you want to keep reading. I moved into this house, a schwanky estate in Lake Forest, Illinois, about, oh 9 months ago now. Seriously, you should see the place and no, I'm not going to tell you exactly where it is. ;) Come around, ask the neighbors, I dare you. I'm sure there are people around getting suspicious.

Suspicious why, you ask? Because we're vampires. Well, most of us anyway. God, it feels cheesy just writing it down, but it's the truth. I wasn't when I moved in. I was just a Doll, working for Lilah in one of the Oak Park dollhouses, making money to get by. Lilah's places were awesome, though. They treated us like gold, let us pick our clients, and that's how I ended up with this gig. Was it lucky or not? Who knows. I died several months into my gig — or would have, if Grant hadn't stepped in.

Grant is my Sire, my lover, and pretty much the man of the house. Well, he and Seamus share that responsibility. Irene is better at this part, paring down the who's who and what's what so it makes sense. I think that's enough for this. You'll get to know everyone as we go, I promise. Until then, get a quick rundown of my housemates.

I'm on Twitter too — fangbangfic! And, if you like what you're reading, have a look at my advertisers so I can keep writing.

Toodles!

–c8e

Jealousy Rising

This morning I woke feeling complicated. (Also, I'm starting to understand why some of the vamps greet people with 'good morning' when they wake at 7 in the evening.)

But seriously. My time with Grant last night was amazing, fulfilling, reassuring… all the things I really needed, and yet when I walked past Todd's door and heard Gemma's all-too familiar moans it hurt so bad. And it pissed me off, quite frankly.

It was my own damn fault, really. Eavesdropping on Gem and Grant just to see how he was in bed with her meant I was asking for it. And even just the moment spent listening at Todd's door after those visions I had were too much.

Gemma's the jealous one, not me! Or at least that's how it used to be. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. And yet, there it was. Todd's mine. Nobody else's. Of course I can't lay claim to him but it's been so nice to have one lover who didn't have Gemma around to prefer over me. Grant loves Gemma more… well, maybe not more but differently, maybe because of Chance, maybe because of something more. Irene even admitted that Gemma was taking my place and I haven't even seen her in over a week. And I'm totally convinced that Eric prefers her too. And who wouldn't prefer Gemma.

No, really, come on. I'm built like a 14-year-old boy next to her, with her full hips, long legs and beauty-queen-perfect breasts. I'm flat, petite, boring. I can take a cock all the way down my throat, whoop-de-doo; Gemma can offer them all so much more. She's kinky and clever and beautiful and interesting. It's times like this I wonder why I even bother.

Yeah, pity party, woe is me. Shut up.

I honestly don't know what I want from Todd or why it bothers me so much that he was with Gemma last night. Todd's not the guy you fall for. He's the guy you fuck and are glad you had the opportunity to fuck. The last time I withheld emotion from sex it
backfired tremendously, though, and now I'm falling back into my old patterns.

I like sex that means something. I think I just want Todd to mean something.

Getting Close

I had just started writing when Grant came in, inviting me to help him prepare his new bedroom for him to move in.

He was in a terrible funk, after chasing both Max and Seamus away in his melancholy after waking up from torpor. It was tragic, really, and the fact that he was choosing a new bedroom was especially weird, but I went with it.

You've got to understand, Grant's current bedroom is one of the most amazing rooms in the house. Minimalist and bright with a meditation fountain bubbling constantly and an amazing Japanese rocking bed. I couldn't imagine why he wanted to move down the hall, but when I saw the bathroom I understood.

We spent the bulk of the night talking, snuggling and learning even more about each other. We've spent most of our time having sex, so it was nice to just spent a couple straight hours of talking. He also told me about all the kinky stuff he bought for Gemma that left me feeling really, really self-conscious.

I consider myself a fairly kinky person, but it's nothing compared to Gemma. She cuts on him to drink, and he bought her a strap-on, corsets, restraints, everything. It's intimidating, especially when lately I feel like I'm competing against her with everyone. But overall it was a great night. Granted, the main reason we talked so much was because he was in a funk, but everything was fine.

Until I felt it.

I made the mistake of thinking too much about Gemma. I still don't have good control of my psychic ability. The visions just happen. The first vision made me flinch.

Gemma knelt before Todd. His face wasn't visible immediately but I know it was him. Even soft he was long and thick and she hungrily sucked as he grew, moaning as he filled her more and more and humming with satisfaction as he grew too long for her to take and still more.

Todd set his hand on the back of her head, fucking her mouth slightly past the limits she selected naturally as he enjoyed every stroke of her tongue and mouth. Her hand squeezed and caressed his balls exactly the way he liked, and when she dug in with teeth, he almost lost it and pulled her up to kiss her to break their rhythm so he
wouldn't cum.

I snuggled into Grant, trying to ignore the vision in my mind and the intense jealousy that came with it. I crawled up to kiss him lightly to distract myself, but when my thoughts quickly turned back to Todd and Gemma I saw it again.

He was only slightly taller than Gemma, but they lined up well. He pulled her up and set her on the washing machine then forced himself between her legs. His fingers worked her buttons feverishly while they kissed and once her shirt was open, he pulled up her skirt up. Todd plunged his fingers deep inside her reveling in how wet she was in her excitement. He only played long enough to get her clit swollen and hard before he pulled her forward and thrust inside her forcefully holding her in place with his hands on her thighs. She tried to break from the kiss so she could moan and breathe heavier, but he moved a hand to her neck and held her in place a bit longer before he moved his lips down her jaw and neck. He wasn't biting her, but he was sucking and scraping his teeth against her skin in a way that would surely leave a hickey.

She whined when he pushed inside, and the pain, combined with the sensations as he sucked on her neck intensified it. "Harder," she breathed, begging for more. "Bloody harder!" She wrapped her arms around his neck and clutched herself to him with her legs, pulling herself off the washer and taking him all the way inside her, letting her weight pull her down as she kissed him.

I had tried and failed to get Grant going by but as I watched through my vision as Todd grabbed Gemma and bounced her up and down on his cock I needed some serious distraction or I was going to lose it. We moved into the office to watch a movie but that, as usual in this house, didn't last long.

The closeness was nice but not distracting enough. In my mind I heard Gemma's cries and snuggled in closer, but it was still not enough. Jealousy swelled and I moved up to kiss him, softly at first, but it didn't help, so I deepened it, plunging my tongue deep into his mouth. Finally I started to feel better so I turned and straddled him needily. Blood coursed through my body and I rubbed against him, hoping to convince him to go further. "I love you," I whispered as I kissed him. As much as I wanted the distraction, I wanted him more.

"I love you, Cady. Very much," he managed when I moved my mouth to his cheek as I started kissing the rest of him with the same energy. His hands rested on my hips, enjoying my affections, but when I moved down to his throat, irrational fear flooded him after a week reliving having his throat torn out by Wren. He looked down, closing his neck away from me. "I'm sorry." he breathed, catching himself but not soon enough to have stopped the reaction. Grant put his lips to mine and kissed his apology, urging me to continue.

There were plenty of other places I wanted to kiss on him, so I steered clear of his neck. When it was clear he didn't want me to stop I pulled his shirt over his head. I grinned when I felt him harden beneath me and met his eyes.

I ground on him, aligning my body with his hard-on and writhing in rhythm. As I peppered his chest and arms with kisses I opened his pants, grinning with excitement to show him the new talent I'd learned with Todd. My hands stroked his thinning stomach and rested at his sides as he slid down. A moment after I slipped her lips around the thick tip I slid my lips down, taking him quickly all the way down my throat, cutting off any possibility of breath before slowly sliding my mouth back up the shaft.

Grant moaned, throwing his head back as he thoroughly enjoyed the sensation of me taking him down so completely. I knew he could tell I'd had practice but didn't care. As I took him deep again, his fingers crept through my hair, pushing my head down and holding me too him. He moaned again, closing his eyes. "Oh my god, Cady." Grant brushed his fingers through my hair and started tugging on her shirt to take it off. Finally this was going somewhere.

I smacked his hand playfully as he tried to get my shirt off, wanting him to just sit back and enjoy while I worshipped his cock. I hoped we'd come far enough that I could appreciate him without having him worry that's all I wanted. My lips slid up and down the length of him several more times before I started stroking him, alternating between watching my hand, so small against his thick shaft, and meeting his eyes. "Your cock is so beautiful," I moaned seductively. "So long and so thick. I just want to feel it inside me."

I undressed in front of him, shaking my ass for him before settling back down. I kissed him deeply while I aligned myself with him. Out of habit I exhaled as my lips opened to slip around him, and immediately I began to moan. I don't have a fetish, but I love talking dirty, and while Eric isn't into it I thought Grant might be. "You feel so fucking good inside me," I said through deep moans as I rolled her hips. "The way you fill me up. How does it feel, Baby? Tell me how I feel."

Grant's blushing deepened. Taking a moment to really focus on the sensations, he started with the first thing that came to him. He voice was soft as he started, making me lean into him as he said it. "Feeling you warm like this, your pussy squeezing my cock as you tighten your body for me drives me crazy." He put his hand up to me breast and squeezed then pulled me down for a kiss, needing courage to continue.

"The way your lips spread for me, pulling open so much that I know it has to hurt to take the entire length of my hard cock like you do, makes me insane." He closed his eyes for a moment and heightened his senses the slightest little bit. "I can feel every part of your vagina. The ridges massage the head of my cock and shaft and sometimes it's hard not to hold you down and fuck you harder so I can get more of it." He was feeling so dumb and totally too embarrassed to gauge mmy body language well so he kissed me again, hoping I was liking it, or at least it wasn't turning me off. And it wasn't, as you can imagine. "The way you got revved just now, for no reason makes me feel sexy."

"You are sexy," I moaned, whining as I concentrated on the sensations, purring through my words. "You're so fucking sexy." I rode him harder, moving my hips more quickly as the sensation built, and I stopped to kiss him intensely, barely breathing through my words. "The way you made love to me the other night was so fucking sexy, like you didn't want it to end."

"I couldn't get close enough to you. Even being inside you, holding you, kissing you, fucking you...I wanted more...and I never wanted it to end." He growled, finally starting to feel like he was getting into it.

I squeezed my muscles around him and sighed as it increased the pressure inside. "Fuck me harder, Grant. Take me."

He wrapped his arms around me and rolled off of the couch and on to the ground using his levitation to prevent the motion from being clumsy. Slowly, his weight pressed down on me and I continued raising my hips. Grant started heaving over me, thrusting deep inside me.

Pushing deeper, he focused on getting as much of his hard-on covered by my wet and wanting pussy. His hand reached up and grabbed my throat to hold me in place so he could go deeper. When pain spiked the sensation, my legs would kick and then wrap around him harder in my ecstasy; I just couldn't make up my mind about what I wanted to do with them.

His climax was very slow in coming this time. His mind had been so far from it when we started. But, as he thought about the way I'd sucked on him and they way I liked to talk, he started to get more excited. He didn't think he could go any deeper, but he did. "Fuck. I can feel the very deepest part of you." He moaned feeling the tip of his penis press against my cervix. "I feel like I'm going to break you," he whispered harshly, and it truly felt like he would.

Grant cried out, clutching me to him as his orgasm thundered through his body. He bit me, but didn't drink and kissed me in other places only to bite. Cum filled me deep inside amidst the cacophony of sensations, his pleasure manifesting. He heightened his senses, feeling every texture of my body inside and out as he slowed through his climax to draw it out.

Filled with his cum, I swirled my hips to enjoy the new sensation and felt another orgasm building. I moaned as I led the movements, sliding myself up and down him and finding the perfect angle. "I love being filled up with your cum. It's like keeping a part of you inside me," I gasped as I climaxed, shuddering beneath him. He leaned down to lick the blood off my skin, but didn't close the wounds, leaving me marked.

As my body settled down I pulled him down to kiss him emotionally, smiling brightly. "That was the hottest shit I think I've ever heard," I purred excitedly. "Rawr!"

Grant blushed again. "Really? I wasn't sure I was doing it right." He admitted. Kissing me, he rolled off and started to pull his pants back up. I started to reach for my shirt, but he stopped me, pulling me into his arms to cuddle.

I giggled, happy to feel his skin against mine. "You were awesome. always are. Heh, I guess that's my kink. Is that a kink? That's not really a kink." I growled as I snuggled in tight.

"Not really a kink, no." Holding me tight, we finished the movie together but I could tell before he said anything that his thoughts had flitted to Max. "Is it okay if I find Max real quick before I head to bed for the day?" He kissed me as he moved to get up. "I need to tell him I'm feeling a little better no thanks to you." He grinned as he picked up his shirt, but he didn't put it on, instead tucking it into the back of his waistline. The extra fabric helped tighten his pants where he had lost a lot in the time he had slept.

"Of course. I've got a blog to write," I winked and tittered.

Showing off

Goddamn I love these shoes. I was just teasing when I suggested Grant buy me a new pair of shoes but I've never felt sexier than when I wear these. Todd's taking me out tonight, and aside from being less than ideal if he starts another brawl and we end up running out of the bar in a frantic rush they're perfect for hunting, and I'm sure they'll get me a little action.

Then, if I'm lucky, Todd'll give me a little action. (Like that takes luck)

I'm holding off on the big "I think I'm falling for you" conversation. No strings sex with him his too good. I guess there's a chance it would get better if there was something more, like with Grant, but right now I'm unwilling to take the chance that it'll end altogether.

Why can't I just turn it off?

Remembering brings clarity

I think it’s hilarious that Todd can’t wake up at dusk, sleeping in lazily like Max does. As I kissed him goodbye I’m not sure whether he was actually awake or kissing me in his sleep, and he collapsed back into the bed as I left.

I can’t decide what it is I feel for him. I care for him a lot more than just as a fuckbuddy. A lot more. Wondering where he stands has a lot to do with it.

I waas drawn to him immediately when he came to the house. He and Jason both came as Dolls since Grace moved out. That was a really sad story… so do I talk about Grace today or do I talk about Todd? Ah, there will be time to talk about Gracie.

I was drawn to Todd immediately. He’s incredibly sexy in a non-traditional way, with big emotive eyes and a quirky grin. He’s also a mute. A childhood accident took his voice, but he’s gotten by, and he adapted with the most expressive face I’ve ever seen on anyone. Jason’s his best friend who knows sign language, and before the change the only way Todd could really communicate with us absent a notepad.

He views his embrace as a blessing, especially since he can now communicate. I forget sometimes that everything he says to me is telepathic. It’s incredibly sexy, communicating without saying a word. The first time we had sex it was bizarre, though.

The moment we got to his room I began impatiently undressing him, growling a bit as I kissed him and immediately I began pulling his shirt off. I ran my hands over his beautifully toned arms, focusing my hands on his strong biceps. Lots of manual labor helped him devleop and an unbelievable body, lean and sculpted and peppered with tattoos. I moaned beneath his lips as our tongues danced, and sighed sighed as my tongue glided along his new fangs. "God, your teeth are so fucking sexy," I growled again, scraping my tongue along the fang hard enough to offer him a taste of my blood.

The blood sparked his excitement completely. He started pulling away my clothes as he rubbed against me, his groin already at half-mast and growing. Todd forced me to walk backwards as he held me to him, rubbing my body against him to stoke his excitement. He couldn't moan, but the impulse still came through making a harsh sigh instead. I kissed him roughly as I unbuttoned his pants. He got the slightest little smirk on his face, knowing what I’d find. When I reached my hand inside for him, my eyes went wide and I gasped. He pushed down on my shoulders, asking silently for me to take a closer look.

“Jesus Christ, Todd,” I moaned excitedly, already stroking my prize. Immediately, hungrily, I sank to my knees in front of him. He rested his hand on my head and as I slipped my mouth over his head, he breathed his pleasure.

His cock was out of control, bigger than Grant's by a lot, and that was really saying something, and for a moment I wondered if Jason had any idea what he was packing. 'Sex is awkward for Todd', Jason had mentioned earlier in the pool, referring to his inability to speak, but now it took on a whole new meaning, and I laughed as I remembered. Both my hands wrapped around him and still couldn't hold the whole length of him, and he watched me intently, drinking in the shock and awe in my expression. He clearly loved this part, so I decided to indulge him further. I continued devouring him, dragging my fingers over the boxing glove tattoo and moaning deeply, making the sound resonate through my lips as I fought to see how much I could take.

I was sloppy because I was drunk, but I took a surprising amount of him. I stood to kiss him again, my hand working him as I did. He grabbed me hard and I moaned, leaning into him.

Seeing that I liked to be handled roughly, he pushed me down on the bed and stripped off the rest of my clothes, kissing my thighs, legs and feet as he did. Todd pushed his jeans the rest of the way down and stroked himself while he closed the distance with me. I watched hungrily as his hand moved up and down his cock, stretching his soft skin. Our eyes met as I watched him and he slowed his movement to improve the show. My body begged for him and I laid back to wait for him.

Using his hand, he moved the head of his penis inside the folds of my vagina and teased my thoroughly, running himself over and around my clit to stimulate me as he sucked on my nipples. Every one of my moans brought him closer to ecstasy as he played with both of them and ran his mouth over my body. My fingers in his hair
and over his skin begged for more of him but he found too much pleasure in my denial.

The waiting was excruciating. I wanted to feel him, to know what it felt like, and I hooked his thighs with my legs to try to coax him further, but he knew the game. He knew it all too well, had to. He knew how badly I was craving him. When he too had enough of waiting and finally did enter me he did it very slowly, stretching my skin and pushing in little by little so it felt like it would never stop, that he'd never be all the way inside me.

He wasn't even doing anything and I moaned and gasped, for a moment wondering if my slight frame could even take it; I had had been sure Grant had taken me to the absolute limit, but he had at least another inch on him and was thicker all around. "Goddammit," I whined as the pleasure of him inside I mixed with pain from his size as I writhed beneath him. "Just fuck me already," I begged.

Todd pulled out completely, slowly to accentuate how he filled me. I moaned and pulled on him to enter me again. He did, pushing a little faster than he had the first time. I felt out of my mind and he hadn't even gotten going yet. He put his hands on mine, holding me down on the bed as he rode me, his pace quickening.

I worried whether he was enjoying me in his silence, growing self-conscious in the moment before I realized he couldn't make a sound, and for the first time when I was having sex I forced myself to keep my eyes open, watching his face as he pounded me, whining with the sensation.

I was loud as he moved on me. I cried out and started to buck and thrash under him. He pushed deeper, forcing pain to spike the pleasure of the moment. His own harsh moan accentuated the moment as he watched my face, drawing him closer to climax.

My body ached with sensitivity after I came but I still wanted more, even though I winced and whined as he banged on my cervix and pushed the limits of my body, my eyes told him to keep going. He felt unbelievable and his kisses fueled me further. I had to stop myself from calling the wrong name, nearly calling him Eric and then Grant as my body grew confused by the pleasure he was giving me. It was a new problem but a glorious one, so I didn't speak, just moaned beneath him, scraping my nails down his back and pulling him onto me. I felt him throb inside me before I saw his face, listening to the wheezing gasps that escaped his throat as he came. It was invigorating and so, so hot, and very accidentally growing my claws in my ecstasy, drawing burning blood down his back as his orgasm sent him shuddering.

Todd closed his eyes as his jaw dropped. Slowing his motions as he prolonged his pleasure. The thought actually occurred to him in the moment that he was grateful to not have to wear condoms anymore which sent another pulse of pleasure through him.

"Jesus christ, Todd," I gasped again, squeezing myself around him as I felt him pulse inside my, each squeeze sending another shiver and shudder through me as well. "Jesus fucking christ." I pulled him down and kissed him deeply before gasping and swearing a third time. "You really don't have to pull out, like, ever," I moaned happily, wiggling my bottom. "Jesus christ."

Todd laughed the hoarse laughed doubled by a telepathic laughter that was so weird at the time but that I’ve now grown so used to as he climbed off of me. He settled in next to me and put his arm around me, and I was thrilled he wanted to spend the night, even if it was because his room was not yet sunproofed. He brought my face up to kiss him before I settled in against his chest. "Good night, Cady. Maybe we'll try this again when you're not very very drunk?" He asked telepathically with a smile.

"Count on it," I groaned, settling in against. I could feel the dawn coming, and in the moments before I fell asleep I decided the next night wouldn’t be too soon, and woke him the next day at dusk with a blow job. I smirked mischievously as I kissed him good night.

As more time passes, as we spend more time with each other, hanging out in bed or otherwise, he perplexes me more than just about anybody. Love’s not what he’s looking for, which I think is why it’s so confusing. If I get up the guts I’ll talk to him about where we stand, because even just remembering our first night together has he wanting more. Grant's reveal of his feelings for me went so poorly it's got me paranoid, but I think I owe it to Todd to tell him how my feelings are evolving.

Shit. I hope he doesn't freak out on me.

This wasn’t always my normal. Quite the contrary. Multiple partners, sleeping with women, falling in love with women, getting depressed if I spent more than a night without an orgasm induced by somebody else. This wasn’t my normal.

Before Eric and I began sleeping together I had been celibate for nearly five years, and even for the first few months with him he was my only partner, and I was thrilled for that. As a Doll I was so averse to sex with clients that the whole disconnect with Grant came about. This kind of begs for a little history.

After my daughter was born almost 5 years ago now I was very jaded. The whole situation was so painful I dreaded the idea of sex with someone I wasn’t ready to commit to or who was ready to commit to me. Then again, Danielle’s dad and I were together for 4 years when I got pregnant. We lived together, hustled together, did everything together. We were just a couple gutterpunks but I wanted to get married when I got pregnant too. I think there’s something about it that just makes you want to build a family. Jeremy just ran. Ran like the fucking wind away. After four fucking years, just left me like that, knocked up and living in a shithole, not caring what happened to his daughter, not caring that he even had a child. He wanted me to have an abortion, but like I could afford that. I would’ve if I could’ve.

How could I not turn to my family at that point? I ran back to them with my tail between my legs, but now I know their offers to help were all about taking my child. All I wanted to do was be a part of her life and I still don’t understand why I had to be kept at a distance from her. Alyssa’s insecurity played a role I’m sure, about Danielle not really being her child. My family withdrew their help once the adoption papers were signed. I was the screw up, and what I thought was a welcome back to the family was entirely motivated by Lyssa’s greed. She convinced my parents that was “acting crazy” and it wasn’t long before I was back with my fellow gutterpunks at the shitty apartment in Logan Square.

I suppose in a roundabout way my pregnancy brought me to where I am today, so at least there’s that. Gray found me in the alley behind the Punkin’ Donuts on Belmont & Clark, hiding and waiting for the midnight donut dump. Gray was stunning, Spanish or Mediterranean, I never really asked, with dark, distinguished features and a disarming smile. I easily could have been dinner—I should have been dinner—but he took a liking to me, said I had a 'beautiful aura'. It's flattering if anybody that pretty calls any part of you beautiful. I was ready to grow up, the money was good and it got me back on my feet enough to get try to back in my family's good graces, which is the biggest blessing.

The “family’s good graces” part failed. They took an even stronger stance against me being a part of Danielle’s life, which only made me more bitter. But I liked being a Doll. It gave me control. I chose my clients, set the terms. The celibacy gave me control too. Plenty of my clients viewed the drinking as a sexual experience, especially Brax, a sad, dumpy soul who showered me with gifts and sexy costumes in addition to my premium rates, but I kept it all business.

But, as I said, keeping it all business with Grant almost made a terrible disaster happen. That night Irene and I were gossiping about him after the video… oh that video. The one I shot of him and Seamus exchanging blowjobs in the whirlpool. Yum… it makes me excited just thinking about it. That was our first glimpse of Grant’s legendary member. He hung out invisibly as we drunkenly chatted. I’m beaming right now, you can’t see it, but I’m remembering the first time I kissed Irene that night. It could’ve turned into a very hot threesome until he mentioned using the sex as payment for drinking me. I couldn’t do it. I wanted him so badly and was so wet after grinding against the bulge that snaked down his leg as I straddled him, but I had promised myself to never use sex as payment. He, of course, completely misinterpreted me and thought I meant I didn’t want him at all, which led to months of completely impersonal feedings. My wrist, my arm, fair game. Anything even remotely erogenous, nope. It sucked. A lot. So I parceled away any feelings I had for him and just left it at that.

It all kind of changed when Eric got hurt. I expressed my grief through what I thought was fun, mutually consoling sex and it really was liberating. Grant, on the other hand, was finally getting to express the feelings for me he’d kept repressed since I so cruelly rejected him. [end sarcasm] We both thought the other wanted very different things when really all we wanted was to be together.

He confessed his love to me the night of my embrace. I was devastated and overwhelmed with loss and he lobs that one in my lap. I didn’t know what to say. I loved him, sure, but I’d never allowed myself to even consider that we could share a love together, so I essentially smiled and nodded. WRONG ANSWER.

Grant flipped out. He had a lot going on and I refuse to believe it was just because of me, but he moved out so he could get to a point where he could look at me and not ache for me because I couldn’t love him. And at that point I really couldn’t. I was so conditioned against feeling that for him, with walls a mile high protecting myself from falling for him, that I couldn’t. When he moved out I was positively devastated. I was still just coming to terms with my new life as a vampire—by the way, it still freaks me out every time I say “I am a vampire” and I’m not sure it will ever get easier. But here I am learning the ropes and my Sire just LEAVES. I was inconsolable. It was bad. So bad I nearly lost Irene and Eric to frustration. A phone call and a conversation brought us both onto the same page but now, as I started to say last night, I’m not sure what to make of it.

I’ve considered giving celibacy another go. Like really, really considered it. Get my head straight, y’know? Figure out what I want from the people in my life. It was so much less complicated and less emotionally draining when the sex wasn’t an issue. Then again I didn’t have this whole “Great, I’m a fucking vampire now” thing to deal with.

At the same time I LIKE feeling sexually liberated. It’s an emotional rollercoaster, though, because it’s ingrained in me to want more to go with the sex. I want Irene to love me like I love her. I want Todd to see me as more than a fun distraction. And I want to be special to somebody. Eric thinks I’m special, but I find myself too often comparing myself to his other lovers. I know going back to being celibate would backfire and I’d just feel worse. Just feeling a little introspective tonight I guess.

Summoned

It's a slow night tonight. I selfishly went looking for Grant but found him with Gemma. Morbid curiosity made me do it and now I wish I hadn't. I eavesdropped on their lovemaking, just listening through the door, but my heightened senses told me everything.

I suppose I wanted to know if he makes love to her like he did with me last night. The answer is an emphatic yes. So emphatic that I'm left feeling… well, not terribly special. He loves her in a completely different way than he loves me. She's the mother of his child, the miracle child, and they've been through hell and back because of it. It's reasonable that he loves her more — differently, not more. Sure. Keep telling yourself that, Cady.

It wasn't so much the sex that I regret listening in on, but their afterglow. I stood veiled in the hallway, honing my senses in on their quiet conversation. The way he expressed his love for her and she for him… the way her voice cracked when he asked her if she'd like to have another child with him someday…

It's got me thinking about how I used to feel about him: completely fucking baffled. Why me? Why does he love me? He has Max, who, as far as I can tell is his soulmate. Their connection as seen with my ability is comparable only to Seamus and Eric. An hell, Seamus and Eric are both his lovers now, plus last night, when I tasted Irene on his lips… Blah, I'm just lonely.

Sometimes I love this house, with its crazy tangled web of relationships and all the love floating around. It's enlightening, exciting, arousing. But the lonely nights are extra lonely, when I know my lover… is this what being summoned feels like? I… I need to go…

---------

Ha! Goodbye melancholy! Wow. So when I left off I felt the irresistible urge to go to Max's room. Literally irresistible, and what I found was sensational.

Irene's moans echoed through the hall from the cracked door as I made way over. I smirked when I saw Max going down on Irene and grinned manically, and Irene looked at me with those sparkling honey eyes, motioning for me to join them. Giggling, I stripped off my little shorts and tank top and immediately moved in to straddle Irene above Max's head, kissing her deeply, drinking in her soft, pillowy lips. Max tilted his head to tease my lips too before plunging his fingers into me while he ate Irene. I felt a little denied — I've heard amazing things about Max's tongue — but I gasped through the kisses. "I've missed you so much," I breathed, looking in her eyes and meaning it more than she could possibly know.

Her ecstatic moans were intoxicating, muffled only by my lips on hers. I've never met anyone who cums like she does. Five, six times in a sitting, each time more urgent. It's addicting, making her cum, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who challenges myself to increase my personal best each time I'm with her.

She started raising her hips, rubbing her pussy against mine while Max worked us both. That was all it took to make Irene shudder again. She broke from our kiss to catch her
breath. "You guys are going to kill me." She moaned breathlessly.

When she'd calmed a little, she pulled me up so she could tease and play with my breasts. My nipples responded deliciously and she took her time licking and sucking on the tender pale pink flesh. Max moved to finger Irene so he could lick my pussy and ass and my God, Irene wasn't exaggerating. I've never had a lover with a tongue so nimble, so quick and practiced, and the pleasure lingered on the delicious edge of climax for what felt like days. I squealed with surprise and pleasure as he darted his tongue up my slit and pushed into my ass, making Max laugh out loud at the sound, but but kept working me diligently as he brought Irene around to another shuddering orgasm with his fingers.

Max crawled up the bed to kiss me first, swirling his tongue passionately with mine before turning his head to kiss Irene. I took the chance to immediately crawl down the bed to check out Max's thick, veiny cock and take it in my mouth. Max moaned as he kissed Irene's lips, neck, shoulders and breasts. My lips slid up and down his shaft deliciously, and I looked up at him wickedly. "So I hear you can come multiple times?" I teased, repeating Irene's report

Max groaned. "Haven't bonded with Grant in awhile, probably not."

"So I probably shouldn't do this?" I took him deep down into my throat and sucked him. Instantly he lost control and cried out as he filled my mouth with hot sex. I will never, ever get enough of the taste of vamp cum. It started with Eric back when I was human and became a goddamn addiction, and as I cleaned Max off thoroughly I learned he was no exception.

"Fuck," Max moaned, but he fueled his erection with blood. He clearly didn't have much more in him, but he didn't go soft. I swallowed and smiled, and Max grinned mischievously. "One of you better hop on," he challenged. "Limited time offer."

I laughed at his cheesiness and glanced at Irene, completely unaware of the cum on my lips. "Ride 'em cowgirl," I sang, beaming as I stroked Max's erection.

Irene climbed up on Max and pressed down as she licked the cum from my lips slowly and sensually, pulling away so I could see the cum on her tongue then came in to kiss me again while she rode Max. His hands gripped Irene's hips hard, handling her roughly as she ground against him. Her moans became urgent and another orgasm gripped her. She lurched forward, the muscles in her body locking as she felt the full shock of pleasure. Her eyes lulled and she shook involuntarily.

I giggled as they kissed and for a moment I just watched them, touching myself as she did, a little irritated that I never crossed over the edge. But they were just beautiful together and they way they connected as they fucked was just extraordinary. Irene's full, supple breasts bounced as she moved on Max, with her gorgeous auburn hair cascading down her back. She's put on a little pudge since the last time I've seen her naked but I like it. It accentuates her curves, and she already had the most amazing curves.

Max met my eyes as Irene was shaking and spoke in my mind. "Irene needs to feed, but her fangs are gone. Bite me for her," he instructed, and I obliged gladly. So that's why they called me, I figured, but I certainly wasn't complaining. It was sad to think he'd let the ghouling slip so far that she'd lost her ability to bite him. I leaned over and kissed him sensually — god is he an incredible kisser, with those full lips and that unbelievable tongue. Already I was dying to feel his tongue on my pussy again.

I drew out the bite slowly since I knew from Irene's stories just how much Max liked it, and slowly my fangs pierced his flesh. I drank a little and moaned in delight as his nectar hit my tongue, but it was nothing compared to Max's moans as he thrust his hips up harder into Irene. Max somehow held onto his orgasm and waited for Irene's lips to hit his neck. He reached down to play with me as Irene drank him, and I felt the wave building quickly again.

Irene saw the blood well and pour back down over his shoulder. The loss of even a drop seemed to offend her and she quickly stooped to make the connection. Vitae completely distracted her and she sucked hard on him, scraping his skin with her teeth to draw more blood. She nearly quit moving as she lost herself in his blood.

Max pounded her pussy, moaning loudly until he lost himself to his pleasure. She held him tight to her, as both of them completely forgot I was there with them as she drank him. I honestly didn't care. She took as much as he'd let her, not wanting to stop, not able to get enough, and she even tried to smack his shoulder to bring more blood to the surface.

I watched her go but got worried as Max tried to coax her off him, weak and disoriented from the power of his orgasm. The hunger in her eyes was intense and almost frightening. Her tongue dug deeply into the wound as she sought more and more blood, and finally I wrapped my arms around Irene's waist from behind and pulled her gently. But Irene clutched for him, digging her fingernails into his skin. "Come on, sweetie, you've had enough," I whispered in her ear before kissing her neck and giving her a little nip, marking her subtly. I have to admit I hope Gemma's the one to notice the mark. My fangs are so much smaller than Max's, and I want her to know of my claim to her.

Irene didn't want to stop but let me pull her away, not that she had a choice in the matter, and she leaned into me. Her eyes stayed glued to his neck though. "I think just a little bit more would be good." She started to lean back down and kissed Max's arm and chest on her way to get back to his neck before I pulled her away. Irene struggled against me.

Irene had already taken more than she probably should have from Max, and it was clear Max would have to feed early the next night. I pulled her back and held her tight but she still continued to struggle. Almost reluctantly I sunk my fangs into my own wrist. The sensation was bizarre — it was my first time doing such a thing, but I offered myself to Irene. "Take some from me if you need more, sweetie," I insisted. "Max is done, though."

Irene slid off of Max's recovering body letting his flaccid penis pull out of her. She pulled my wrist into her mouth and drank until even I began to feel a bit weak. I could almost feel my vitae flooding her and again I felt an orgasm threatening, but the tension kept me in check. She licked my wrist to wipe away the blood before she pulled away. "I don't know why I want it so bad. I'm full, but I still want more." She laid on the bed next to Max holding her belly that was actually distended a little with the amount she'd drank. "Why am I so hungry?"

I curled up around the both of them as Max finally recovered from the fog enough to move. I closed the wound on his neck and giggled as I touched Irene's belly. "Aw, you got a little blood baby!"

"I kinda do." Irene groaned and I giggled, tickling her stomach.

"No! Don't tickle me! I'll totally puke." She giggled.

Max sighed apologetically. "I'm so sorry, Sweets, it's probably 'cause I let you go so long. At least it should take effect by morning, I'm sure you'll feel better then." He turned his face and kissed me. "You didn't finish?"

I just smiled. "I enjoyed myself fine. Next time I want mine first, though," I teased.

"You got it," Max replied. "You girls are so fucking hot. Cady, jesus. Nobody's ever taken me down like that."

Again I just laughed. "I get lots of practice," I joked. Todd has definitely made me a deep throating expert, and that reminds me, I've got to showcase these new talents to Grant sometime.

"I bet you do." Irene teased with a knowing grin trying to make light even though she was uncomfortable. She tried to cuddle up with Max, but he smelled too good. The thought of drinking more made her sick and she ran to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet. Her body lurched and tightened causing blood to pour from her mouth. She coughed and whined between waves of purging, holding her hair out of her face.

Max made to get up but I put my hand on his shoulder. "I've got her. You go get yourself some swill," I insisted.

"Yeah," he muttered looking dizzy, glancing into the bathroom as he moved over to his little mini-fridge, which Gemma had reliably stocked with his usual carton.

I moved behind her and pulled her hair back, plaiting it out of the way. "Overdid it a little, eh?" I teased, nuzzling her head.

Irene laid her head on the seat of the toilet, panting to catch her breath. She reached up and pulled the handle to get rid of the dark red water in the bowl. "Yeah, I guess. Help me up? I want to brush my teeth." I helped her stand. "Thank you, Cady." She leaned against me, looking for the support, and I snuggled her loosely, breathing in the scent I've missed so completely. Irene keeps toiletries in Max's bathroom, so she brushed her teeth as I held her then went back out to sit next to him on the bed. "I'm sorry, Max. Are you okay?" She put her hand on his face affectionately.

"Yeah, the swill took the edge off. How's my girl?" He wrapped his arms around her and I smiled. This was her first time feeding from him in weeks, and they clearly needed some time. As he kissed me goodbye Max touched my face and kissed me much more deeply than she expected, knowing I really liked kissing him, and he grinned as I pulled away.

An intense night for sure, but a beautiful one. Any time I can spend with Irene is beautiful, of course, but since it's coming less and less often I cherish each moment more.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some unfinished business to attend do. I still can't believe with all that I didn't cum!!